When we act in self-love, our actions and decisions aren’t clouded with emotion or judgement - we’re simply being true to ourselves.
L
oving ourselves more has become top priority for many of us over the last few years - but what does ‘self-love’ really mean?
Consult Instagram, and you might think posting more confident selfies in the answer. When turning to social media for inspiration, we’ll find the suggestions can seem a little contradictory.
Do we show ourselves more love by getting up early and going to the gym, or by getting some extra snuggle time in the morning?
Is self-love found in the gooey centre of a chocolate brownie, or at the bottom of giant bowl of leafy greens?
The truth is, self-love will look different for everyone - and it can change from day to day. There is no specific meal, activity or ritual that intrinsically equals self-love.
True self-love is rooted in listening to your intuition and acting upon what your body is telling you it needs - and that could be a workout, or it could be a sleep-in.
The point with self-love is that you’re not acting according to what you feel anyone else expects of you, or even what you expect of yourself… Instead, you’re tuning in to your authentic self with love and respect.
When we act in self-love, our actions and decisions aren’t clouded with emotion or judgement - we’re simply being true to ourselves.
Here are 7 ways to show yourself more self-love, however it may manifest:
1
Spend some time alone with yourself (without looking at your phone!)
Depending on your personality type, this can be a joy for some and really uncomfortable for others.
However, the discomfort will eventually pass - and if we want to show ourselves love, the first step is to get to know ourselves.
Like getting to know a new friend, we have to spend time with ourselves to really understand who we are and what we really want in life.
“If you want the moon… do not hide at night. If you want a rose… do not run from the thorns. If you want love… do not hide from yourself.” - Rumi
Mastering self-love means we no longer give in to peer pressure, or take on negative judgement from others
2
Never apologise for being you
Once we’ve connected with our authentic selves, we must confidently express who we really are, stand up for our beliefs and be proud of our passions and interests.
Mastering self-love means we no longer give in to peer pressure, or take on negative judgement from others.
Our self-love grows our confidence - and those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” - Dr. Seuss.
3
Move and nourish your body
Showing yourself more self-love doesn’t need to take the form of grueling workouts and green smoothies.
That said, daily movement and nourishing food are the basic needs for a healthy body - and your body is the only place you have to live, so taking care of it is a fundamental part of self-love.
Remember that movement can be gentle, and nourishing food doesn’t always have to be green and totally ‘clean.’ Tuning in and listening to what your body needs is key!
“If you listen to your body when it whispers, you will never have to listen to it scream.”
4
Be wary of negative energy
Sometimes self-love means distancing ourselves from those who aren’t vibrating on our level. Spending too much time with negative people can be incredibly draining.
Their negative outlook squashes our ability to see anything positively, including ourselves.
Without judgement, take notice of those around you - do they radiate love and peace? Or are you ready to move on…
“You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people.” - Joel Osteen
5
Seek out positive energy
Stay true to yourself, practice self-love and put that positive energy out into the world - and you will find your tribe.
A great way to show yourself more self-love, is to spend time with people who are also in tune with themselves. People who practice self-love won’t judge you for being who you are. Instead, you’ll find yourself supported and encouraged on your self-love journey.
“Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.” - Mary Lou Retton
6
Say positive affirmations daily
The stories we tell ourselves become our reality. A big part of a self-love practice is creating our best reality. It sounds like a difficult task, but it’s really as simple as saying positive affirmations as often as possible, while eliminating limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns.
OK… it’s easier said than done - but definitely 100% worth it! At first, you may not even fully believe what you’re saying - but over time, you will.
Your positive affirmations can be as general or as specific as you like - as long as they resonate with you, and what you truly want.
“Your mind will always believe everything you tell it. Feed it faith. Feed it truth. Feed it with love.”
Set goals without consulting the ‘life blueprint’ thrust upon us by society
7
Find clarity with your values, goals and desires.
The most effective positive affirmations will come to us when we have a really clear idea about what we believe in and what we want to achieve.
Journaling can help us piece together our underlying values and desires, if we look for recurring themes and read between the lines.
Set goals without consulting the ‘life blueprint’ thrust upon us by society. Is your goal to fit in and do what is expected of you? Or is it to find your passion, write your own story and make a difference in the world?
Get clear on what you want, then honour it - that’s self-love!
“A goal should scare you a little… and excite you A LOT!” - Joe Vitale
There is so much to gain by joining the growing self-love movement. It’s not all about sunshine, rainbows and a bathtub full of petals - it’s about truly knowing yourself, and listening to your physical, spiritual and emotional needs without judgement.
In the end, it doesn’t matter what you do - as long as you honour your needs with love and kindness.
